I seriously do... Coz the past few months have taught me a lot, and finally the truth dawned on me... Ofcourse I am not talking about 'the angels', pearly white gowned, sweet creatures with wings, though I still romance with the idea of meeting one, its just about the circumstances I've faced that made me believe that there are more beautiful, sweeter and divine creatures surrounding me in reality...
I shall certainly not irritate you people by my usual elaborate narrations this time.. It all started like this(there I go again!).. I was so heartbroken by the general attitude of some of my 'so-called-friends' that I started to draw myself further away from reality.. Typically what they do in the game called "bubble"... Rather an interesting game which I came across in a novel in which people totally re-translate the happenings in their lifes, into something totally wild, almost into a virtual world... Back to my story, yeah, I got into this 'bubble' syndrome, which I hoped would keep the pain at bay and help me comfort myself... Worked like a charm for sometime.. Like whenever someone asked me how 'so-and-so'(assumed to be my close friend, even by myself earlier) is doing, I would let my imagination loose and spin a fancy answer to cover up the fact that this 'so-and-so' hasn’t bothered to check if I'm alive or dead for the past month or so..
The 'bubble' had to break, and this made me even worse.. Facing the world that had seemed so warm, but now so distant was pretty terrible... I resorted to cribbing... Even that didn't help... Then finally when I thought that life couldn't get worse, I started to feel the presence of the angels....
These were people who didn't walk into my life all of a sudden, but who had been there all along.. Not that I didn't notice them before, but I didn't bother to know them better... Whenever someone ditched me, there was someone to pick me up, whom I would have never imagined, even in my biggest 'bubble' to help me..
Not that these angels stay with me forever.. but they certainly make their presence felt and miraculously cure my wounds and pull me out of self pity... And every time I fall, I can be sure that there would be someone to catch me.. and even if no-one did.. I could still pick myself up, knowing for sure that my guardian angels(I certainly have more than one!) would give me enough strength to recuperate and get back on my feet...
I also learnt that...
Shit happens... only we fail to accept it
Self-pity is the best way to make sure others hate you...
When life is miserable, blame yourself for not being able to see the better things surrounding you..
Noone is more important to anyone than themselves!
Nothing remains unchanged forever... Be it people, feelings or even the deepest love! Everything will change and should change.. Or it is just not real!
But the best lesson which came as a message when I needed it the most was... Never make someone the priority in your life, when you are just an option in theirs!!
I cant say I'm much happier now, but atleast I've established some kind of harmony with reality! Thanks to those angels!
Sunday, September 17, 2006
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