Wednesday, February 14, 2007

A short story on Valentine's day...

Guys.. Gimme a good title for this one and ofcourse your reviews!

It was almost 5 pm, a very beautiful evening in a lovely park. Scent of flowers, pleasant breeze and probably an ideal ambience for the couples there, who were 'planning' for Val's day, which was just a week away. Shankar was an exception. He was waiting nervously near the entrance, looking into his watch frequently, and despite the cool breeze, sweating. Priya, his girlfriend for the past 3 years, had called him that morning, from a public booth (or so he guessed) and in a troubled tone, had asked him to wait near the entrance of the park at 5 pm and had cut the phone abruptly.

Priya walked in exactly at 5pm. Shankar, relief surging through him, rushed out to greet her. But she motioned him to be silent, looked around, caught him arm and literally dragged him as quick as she could to their favorite bench. This bench was where they had met often during the 3 years and it held many special memories. But on that day, Priya broke down weeping! "My parents know!” she wailed,” I don’t think I can come out of the house again un-noticed". A painful silence prevailed. "They've fixed my engagement with Tilak tomorrow.. Even now, I had to sneak out of the house when everyone was busy with the preparations.. I can’t stay here too long.. I must leave now.. I really don’t know what to do..I feel like dying Shankar... ". Shankar put his arm around her and hung his head, searching for the right words. "Shall we get married now? I mean right now!". Priya looked up, looked right into his eyes and said, "I cant come against my parents' wishes.. You know that.. That’s why I waited all this time.. I just cant Shankar!" and starts sobbing again. With only her sobs breaking the silence, time froze for a few minutes. Shankar then said, with all the determination he could muster "Lets part now! I know it’s hard on both of us but it'll be harder if you stay longer.. Go and marry Tilak, Priya! We may have failed as lovers, but at least lets satisfy our parents and make them happy.. Go on.. Don’t look back!". Priya got up reluctantly, gave him one last look and hurried home. Shankar sighed heavily and closed his eyes.

A week later...

It was Valentine's Day and Trojan Cafe; the hot spot for the town's couples was brimming with people. Seated beside his new girlfriend Sheela, Shankar hardly looked the grief-stricken, heart-broken lover. Priya walked in with her fiancĂ© Tilak. Her eyes met Shankar's and then was a brief sad smile in both their lips. Shankar's smile broadened as soon as her back turned. It became smug! "It worked perfectly", he thought.” I’d been planning this for a month and the time came only a week before when Priya's mom picked the phone. Though I knew it was her mom, I continued talking as if I thought it was Priya, coz I know she'd be caught and we'd have to split up. Priya became boring of-late and after I met Sheela, my feelings for her died. And to think, we talked about marriage some two weeks back! Phew!" and he puts his arm lovingly on a beaming Sheela.

The focus is now on Priya who is rather happily chatting with her fiancé. She seems to be a perfectly normal radiant bride-to-be. Inside she is thinking "Not bad.. It really worked! How could have I ever fallen in love with Shankar? Such a pathetic loser! It struck me only when he talked about marriage that I've gotten myself into a trap. And the only way to escape unscathed is to 'get caught' at home so that they'd get me married to Tilak soon giving Shankar no chance to stop my wedding... And the only way to get caught was to put my mobile where it can catch mom's eyes and stay off the place for some time... It really worked!".. She smiled sweetly at Tilak who was discussing the Visa procedure with her..

13 comments:

Naren said...

Title = Unlove :P

Heidi Kris said...

matamana story!

Mystic said...

@ Naren :P thanks! U didnt comment on the story though

@aks.. Hey.. Its a tale with a twist.. Wasnt meant to be wicked but just a reflection of the attitude of some real life people I came across.. Just that I made an attempt to conceal my disgust in fiction... Satire is the word

MaySan said...

Story doesnt seem to be totally believable....but generally nicely described :)

Harish said...

how about "And they lived happily ever after" ? :-)

Mystic said...

@Mayu..

It would be shockingly believable if u happened to see what I saw some days back.. and thanks :)

@Harish..

I generally like fairy tales ending that way :-) this was more of a mock on a real happ.. So... yeah... maybe they lived happily ever after :-D

Mukunth said...

I thought the story's born to ur imagination...but real incident?!!? well, nice language. Title... hw abt - Every Love has its day!???

Mystic said...

Hmmm.. The twist was my imagination..My inspiration was the sick pairs in coll.. I mean I just tried to read their inner thoughts and exaggerated it with my own imagination :-) Not a bad job I guess..

Lazy Lavender said...

Great work di!! I just wish people keep their eyes open to reality! :D :D

Ram said...

certainly not something to write on Valentine's day.

"sour grapes" would do :P

Arvind Srinivasan said...

Love's Escape ;) ?

Mystic said...

I guess now I've got a title..

Where is the Love? [:P]

Arvind Srinivasan said...

is that thingie in the bracket supposed to be the answer ;) :P ?

i.e. in one's tongue :D =)) - i must admit, you have droolly imagination :P