Sunday, September 25, 2005

Transfer of moods

We can all imagine this scene perfectly as most of us have gone through it or rather are going through it very frequently. Coming back home after a perfectly lousy day, gone completely wrong, when you feel totally dejected and to top it all of, your mom or dad chooses that very moment to pick up an arguement on a very trivial matter. But hey this is not yet over.....If you have a sibling, he or she becomes the vent to all that pent up anger and depression...Or you'd land up wetting your pillows...There is no use of denying that this has never happened to you.
Its now that we have to take a look at this phenomenon of mood transfer. I'd give a small warning to all those people who cannot tolerate even a little bit of boredom, this post might seem a bit boring, but if you do have the patience to read it till the end I guess you'd be doing yourself and the world a good deed.
Most oft than not, we serve as emotional vents or to put it in a better manner, as punching bags to people whom we just cant afford to avenge . And in turn, we pounce on our subordinates or somebody whom we know would not retaliate and they,unable to get back at us,on someone else and this continues on without an end.
I'd like to give a small illustration. It so happened that one of lecturers, seemingly upset over a quarrel with her husband(how typical!), gave us an extra assignment and a really horrifying deadline(she asked us to submit it the very next day). This ofcourse was given a generous dosage of the most unparlimentary language possible in a class. Ofcouse we were all upset and angry, so I entered home, lets say, not in one of my best spirits, just to be further aggrevated when my mom confronted me with something I had forgotten to do. Normally, I might have just accepted my mistake with an apology but being in a state that I was, I retaliated in a not-so-pleasing manner that just was not acceptable from the guilty party. Then again, if my mom was her normal self, she'd have just given me a mild warning and would have left me to brood. But then, having had a long and tiring day with 2 surgeries and post-ops to attend, she didnt let me go that easily. And yeah, before either of us could stop, it grew into a big arguement, which ended with me slamming my door.
If we look into every one of such situations, we'd find that we have erred by not keeping our moods to ourself but by having it thrown upon someone who just wasnt involved. It is completely human to do this. So what I ask of you, is just to stop throwing around your sorrows and fears and trying to spread a little sunshine. Anger often gets us into more trouble than we bargain for. Doing something on impulse not only affects us but all the people around us. The chain of misery gets us all entangled in it and unknowingly we get more and more people entangled too. So please think before you argue. An arguement with an angry person would always end in vain. And when you are angry dont argue either. It takes alot of self control to restrain yourself but then come on, a cheap victory is certainly not as great as a moral one. And remember that whenever you hurt someone, you dont hurt that person alone, but a whole bunch of people who are all least connected to you.
So right now if you are repenting for having spoilt someone's day, just try to make it up to them coz its never too late. A call, a card, a small gift or even a simple hug could make things much better and your heart lighter. Learn to forgive and forget and make lives brighter!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

my mind reminded me of hw i spoiled my dad's day... am not able 2 express anything here... may b after a few days i wil tel u.

Labakku Das said...

Wow! Nice post di... A welcome change from the usual stuff like day-day activities,meeting frnds etc... will try 2 implement wat u said.. Good one!

Alwaysvetti said...

Wow..!! Nice post dee Asha..True that it happens most often..but the thing is that self control under such conditions is very tough..It is certainly true that a moral victory than a cheaper one but at that spur of the moment a cheaper victory seems a better option..In most cases(atleast mine) during such unfortunate happenings I will be out of my mind..:(..Anyways good post..Keep up the good work..!!

Thrivikraman said...

Adiyey kutti ponne, konja nalave u havent been having problems coz of ur anger... showing ur anger on some1 over the job @ workshop and getting hurt.. ippo this kinda story..

Chances for us to get angry and frustrated are a part of life, and coming out of troubled times depends on how cool our heads are maintained...

i hv had times when i was put responsible for things which i had no connection with, entire blame of something flopping put on me.. but i learnt not to get angry..

brain doesnt work good in anger moods... when it is stressed or strained..

so my advice this time is.. keep ur head kewl... control ur nerves.. use ur brain.. sometimes just virtually close ur ears.. that may improve some troublesome situations.. :) Take Care!

Heidi Kris said...

hey absolutely true di!!

I can relate all ur posts with my real life di.

For me the best medicine to bring me out of my anger is sleep off. When am in a really bad mood i jus force myself to sleep and when awake i forget the past and get up afresh.

Will surely try to stop passing my mood to others di ( but surely will pass on my mood when iam happy and feel as if iam on top of the world ) :) cheers !!

Naren Balaji said...

I'll tell you soon what a bad day looks like in my blog.

Anyway, repenting after hurting someone's feeling will not help. I learnt that long time ago.

It is always better not to speak to anyone if you are in a bad mood.

Ofcourse, nowadays I try to speak to others if I am in a bad mood so that I can raise my spirits.

Mystic said...

@Raj,Sri,Gadi,Bharath and Naren

Glad u ppl found it nice. It was more of a heart felt piece...

@ anna

True da...I'm losing my cool oft these days

SpankMac said...

nice blog!
(and the page looks good)