Unspoken words!

I've never spoken in some "interesting" conversations in my life the way I wanted to... Just putting up a few..

These are common conversations.. I get to go through these thrice a year atleast ever since I joined college!

Mr/Mrs X: Do you know 'so-n-so' from your coll?
Me : Which year and dept.. uncle/aunty??(Maybe I do, maybe I don't.. and I really don't give a shit)
Mr/Mrs X: Hmmm... IT..no CSE..Not very sure.. Maybe EEE... I think he/she must be in the second..no.. third...maybe fourth year!
Me : Oh! not really sure uncle/aunty.. will try to find out *polite smile* (Hey.. you could have mentioned all the eleven depts in my coll, why even some 20-30 colls in the country.. if you've no clue what that loser does or where he/she is.. then better not talk about him/her)


A relative: So which course have you taken?
Me : Instrumentation ( I know now why you haven't found anyone else to talk to.. Ask the same question everytime you meet a person.. you'll be termed "plague"!)The relative: So how is the scope for your course?
Me : Its pretty good uncle/aunty..(And what if its not? are you gonna get me a job?)
The relative: You should read very hard and save your family's name.. This is the least you could do to compensate for not being a doctor!
Me: :Sure.. I will try my best!(Yeah.. thanks for such a worthless piece of advice...Throw more of these on the ground and they'd become natural manure!)



Another relative: Ah! you are next in line!
(in a wedding)
Me : I'm just 19 uncle/aunty...I've my UG to finish and PG to work on.. Might take another 5-6 years easily! (Next in line?? To what?? Jumping off the cliff? No way)
The relative : That'll make you 25! half a grandma!
Me (clearly uneasy): I guess right now I dont really have any fixed plans.. Just want to finish my studies...Haven't given a thought about all this (Half-a-grandma?? WTF do you think you are you old fart?)
The relative : Good! Get married soon after UG and then go to US with your husband.. See my daughter.. She is now a happy green-card holder!
Me(very uneasy now): *smile*(Get this straight you ass.. I'm still a kid.. I know what I want and when I want it.. Green-card is not my idea of a great life.. I still don't see how you got married anyways! Must have been the greatest tragedy in your husband's/wife's life!)



Some guys can be real jerks...

Jerk: Do you know "some-arbit-girl"?
Me : I guess I know her...
Jerk: What is her character like?
Me: I don't really know her that well (and even if I did.. I dont have to tell you.. So what if she is a dirty,slimy,bitchy low-life?? You are worse!)



Jerk2: You are Y's friend right?
Me : Yeah!
Jerk2: We need to talk
Me : Ok (?????????)
Jerk2: You might think I'm mad... But I'm deeply in love with Y.. I want you to understand that!
Me : Huh?? (I know for sure that you are mad now! Why are you telling me your sob story? I dont even know you!)
Jerk2: You must talk to her about this and make her understand!
Me : *silent* (I will definitely talk to her.. tell her that you are the last person she should be seen with)Jerk2: Please sister.. Help me
Me :*silent*(If I had a brother like you.. I'd have shot him dead myself.. Buzz off!)


Other common orkut questions like "Can we have friendship?".."Shall we friends?" really draw the choicest swear out of my keyboard.. At times I think a basic English course should be undertaken by these jerks!

And this conversation took place recently... I really wish I answered the way I should have!

My parents' friend(hoping to embarass me): My daughter says you know most of the guys in college.. Is that true??
Me(smiling) : She must have been joking! (You must ask you daughter how well she knows this chap 'X'... I guess they know each other pretty well coz I see them hanging around in the canteen and the road side benches very often!!)