Discoveries...

I was told as a kid that when you love something or someone.. I should be proving my love every second for all my life in every way I could..

But I discovered on my own that

Indifference........

...........Increases infatuation
...........Diminishes friendship
...........Doesn't have any effect on true love!

I was told as a kid that crying was a sign of weakness....

But now I discovered that

Crying.......

.............is a sign of deep care to the one you love
.............is a harmless release for the pent up frustration and anger
.............is a plea of helplessness to the one whose attention you want
.............is the flag of truce after a fight.. it is surrendering wholly
.............is my own sweet way of saying "I miss/love/want you" when I really mean it!

I was told as a kid that dreaming was one of the greatest gifts given to a child...

But now I discovered that

Dreaming........

............is a life boat given to mankind to escape the cruelties of reality
............is the one place from where all good things originate!
More discoveries would continue in the days to come......

Funny world!

Sometimes people are funny... very funny

They wish to destroy things that have never been built
They cry coz they've lost something that never belonged to them
They complain that you've changed.. when they never knew the real person
They want to get back.. when your heart is too broken to take anyone in
They dream of happiness and lose precious opportunities to get it
They look for peace everywhere but within
They believe that when they hurt you.. it hurts very little!
They ask you to understand them but they never hear you out

But the best thing is..

They say they empathize with you.. Thats the funniest lie ever!

Funny world.. Cruelly funny world!

God-in the smallest thing..

The result of a Sunday afternoon chat with Thatha and Dad... It started off with Dad talking about nanobots.. And as the discussion went on, Thatha was quoting something from the Vedhas... And a very interesting thought popped up in my mind... I'm just giving the actual thought train in my head.. I hope it makes sense...

When we deal with Great things, it needs greater potentiability and understanding, Superiority is graded in accordance with the subtle nature of things. A subtle thing is superior to a gross things and a subtler thing is superior to a subtle thing. These are stages and degrees of consciousness and more and more of the knowlegde flows in. That is why the sages and seers who are able to see the subtleties of objects through their intellect are known to possess Sukshma Drishti which can behold even the most subtle thing.

The Vedhas deal with two knowledgs- Lower and the Higher (Apara Vidhya and Para Vidhya). The lower knowledge deals with lesser science or secular science. This can only enable people to understand the knowledge pertaining to the universe and the objects what we see, the theory of relativity, the theory of electrons and all human theories for mean to have a sense-life.

Whereas, The Para-Vidhya or Higher Science is to understand the subtler thinsg of life, which cannot be known by the mere assemblage of words. That which cannot be seen nor seize, which has no origin, no properties, neither ears nor eyes, hands or feet, which is eternal, diversely manifested, all pervading, extremely subtle and imperishable, and can only be understood by practicing and knowing this science.

And as we see the world today, it keeps moving towards compactness and subtleness.. Gone are the days when what was making it big was actually making something big. Commercial favorites today are the smallest versions.

The hottest topics in Science & Technology include Nanotechnology, Atomic Energy and Science, Quantum theory.. More perceivable by the more knowledgeable people and a mystery to most..

Look at the potential of the smallest of the smallest 'an atom'.. The amount of energy it can generate.. Its everywhere but no-one has come up with the exact idea of what it is.. And then we have sub-atomic particles.. Smaller than an atom! What would we get if we keep searching for the smallest? Emptiness?? Or Whole?? What would you say 'zero' is?. Nothing or completion??

Why did Prahalad say " He (God) is Omnipresent, in the tiniest speck and also in the most massive structures" and what about the statement "Aham Brahmasmi!' (The Creator lies in me)... According to the most accepted theory of evolution, everything started from an atom and everything is made up of the basic unit- an atom.

And look at the Dasavatharam of Lord Vishnu in order.. It gives the various stages of evolution.. Is there some kind of link between all these? Or are these mere coincidences?

My own conclusion is the "GOD IS AN ATOM" or whatever it is that is the smallest and most basic unit of any substance. In this way I think any form of worship, beliefs, love and theories can be substantiated. This is something even an atheist cannot deny. And when it is so, even self-love is good.. Everything you do, say or perceive is due to God and is directed to the Creator! It made so much sense to me... What do you say?

A friend has given the following justifications for my theory

This is in Second Mundaka, Second khanda, second point "That which is brilliant, smaller than small, that on which the worlds are founded and their inhabitants, that is the indestructible Brahman"Another trans"That which is radiant, subtler than the subtle, That by which all the worlds and their inhabitants are supported—That, verily, is the indestructible Brahman"

Dreams/nightmares Tag

Tagged by my dear akka Sri... I'm gonna share some of my not-so-interesting nevertheless true dreams I've had..

I'm known to be a little psychic(yeah.. its true) so around 60% of my dreams come true.. Its very very scary at times.. esp when I've dreams like this...

I'm trapped in a room of mirrors.. The walls, ceiling and floor are all mirrors.. I dont know which one is a door.. I'm struggling to get out, pounding desperately on the walls, crying all the time and breathing keeps getting tougher.. Then the walls start closing in, and I faint/die with one last cry...

If this was scary then here comes the scarier one..

I'm sitting on my bed.. Someone knocks on the door.. I let them in.. I'm a little surprised to see that person but still I know the person too well.. That person says nothing but suddenly pulls a pillow and presses it on my face.. I struggle to escape but I'm strangely helpless and held-back by god-knows-what.. Just before I die, moon-light falls on the person's face, who is smiling very serenely and my last thoughts are "Why should you kill me..?" I've had this nightmare a couple of times.. Every time I wake up very sad rather than scared.. I see that face very clearly during the last few seconds but I forget who it is when I wake up.. Good that I don't remember!

Coming to the pleasant stuff.. I've had dreams like me winning a fashion parade(came true!) me tripping and falling down in front of a huge crowd after receiving the crown(thank god this didn't happen! most embarassing!) becoming the CEO of Taj Hotels(wish this comes true ;) ) but the best dream is something abstract and gives me maximum happiness when dreaming and a great sense of peace when I wake up..

I'm sitting near a small brook writing something in a small yellow notebook... I'm surrounded by a big meadow full of flowers.. The sky is clear and the air is mildly scented.. There is no one around for miles together.. Snow capped mountains in a distance.. I get up and walk to a small cottage(which I assume is mine).. Its really small but very pretty, covered with flowering creepers, a small vegetable garden behind and yeah.. really sweet.. I get inside and I start singing(a very nice song which I dont seem to remember once I wake up :( ) And then someone joins me in the cottage and we both keep singing(I guess its the song I wrote near the brook coz I'm holding the yellow book.. Dont remember who sings with me either!) Then I decide to come home and I step into the brook.. A wave(?!!) magically appears and carries me down the meadow, suddenly my house's staircase appears, it carries me up the stairs and gently puts me on my bed.. and then sprinkles a few drops on my face.. thats when I wake up..

Felt really good writing this tag.. Hope to come up with more sometime... People will be tagged if asked..

50 things you get to know abt me!

Tagged by Keshav.. It a rather enjoyable post to do.. but me being in a bad mood today.. This is how it turns out.. I'll tag people on request


1. Were you named after anyone?
My official name is not after anyone but the other name is that of the diety of Srirangam- Ranganayaki

2. Do you wish on stars?
Ofcourse I do!

3. When did you last cry?
This morning... The mistress of screw-ups has to cry.. right?

4. Do you like your handwriting?
Yeah.. I guess so.. It varies according to my moods.. Good or bad.. its unique.. Like me ;)

5. What is your favourite meat?
Reframe the question... I am my sister's fav meat :P

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf?
Dont have any such CDs... But might buy a copy of "dirty dancing" to answer this question :P

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
Yeah yeah.. I certainly deserve me as a friend!(NTPK)

8.Are you a daredevil?
Shockingly, at times, yes!

9. How do you release anger?
I cry.. Thats my favorite option.. Or I take a shower..

10. Where is your second home?
I belong only in my real home.. I dont see a second home.. Sorry..

11. Do you trust others easily?
Used to.. Now I guess I'm becoming wary

12. What was your favourite toy as a child?
Mine was Mary..my doll in a wedding gown.. Thats till I was 5.. Then.. I had a new fav toy a year!

13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?
I think all the subjects in school were important... In coll.. everything is useless!

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
I do sometimes... U tell me!

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
Depends on your prespective of a mosh pit.. A couple of conerts I've attended we've sorta done some moshing!

16.What do you look for in a gal(/guy)?
Quite alot.. I dont think I'll go in detail.. Decent looks, good sense of humor, smart, intelligent and yeah a big leevl of tolerance(or he cant ut up with me)

17. Would you bungee jump?
Definitely.. Its in my agenda!

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Never.. Always gets on my mom's nerves!

19.what's your favourite ice cream?
Vanilla. Butter scotch. Chocolate... In the order

20. What are your favourite colours?
Black, yellow, peach

21. What are your least favourite things?
Big list.. sorry

22. How many people do you have a crush on right now?
he he he... Why didn't I face this question before? a time I might have given interesting answers.. As of now.. No one :(

23. Who do you miss most right now?
The spark that was in me.. which is now all gone!

24. What are you listening to right now?
The fan, TV from downstairs and my own lil conscience asking me to do something constructive

25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Black or yellow

26. What is the weather like right now?
Pleasant... It might rain..

27. Last person you talked to on the phone?
The person who tagged me

28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Eyes... or smile...

29. Do you like the person who sent you this?
I suppose I should :P

30. How are you today?
Miserable... Screwed up a performance... And I feel like I'm the biggest jackass on earth..

31. Favourite non alcoholic drink?
Butter milk, sweet lime juice and vanilla milk shake.. In the order

32. Favourite alcoholic drink?
Benadryl rocks! Gin comes to a close second ;)

33. Natural hair colour?
Brown

34. Eye colour?
Brown

35. Wear contacts?
No..

36. Siblings?
One angel in disguise.. My lil sis! Love u baby!

37. Favourite month?
July... The month of birthdays!

38.Favourite food?
Anything tastes good when I'm hungry.. But I love paruppu samadham(dhal rice) with french fries any day! vathal kozhambu is a bonus!

39. Favourite day of the year?
July 6th... I'm a so self centred!

40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?
I've not met anyone that dashing.. but if I do... I might be a lil shy.. Not for too long!

41. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy Endings.. I'm a sucker for happy endings

42. Summer or winter?
Love and hate both equally

43. Holi or Diwali?
Diwali.. The best time of the year

44. Do you like your name?
Yes! Smart and cool.. so unlike me though

45. What book/magazine are you reading?
Rule of four by Dustin Thomasan and someone else... Awesome!

46. What's on your mouse pad?
The Registry- Omaha

47. What did you watch on TV last night?
Charlie and the Chocolate factory.. wasnt very happy with that movie

48. Favourite Smell?
Baby lotion/soap, jasmine

49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?
Broke up with a couple of friends.. very painful... but never regretted it... Am regretting not breaking with a friend now..

50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done?
Attended class after a 1 hour sleep and that too with high fever.. Horrible!

A short story on Valentine's day...

Guys.. Gimme a good title for this one and ofcourse your reviews!

It was almost 5 pm, a very beautiful evening in a lovely park. Scent of flowers, pleasant breeze and probably an ideal ambience for the couples there, who were 'planning' for Val's day, which was just a week away. Shankar was an exception. He was waiting nervously near the entrance, looking into his watch frequently, and despite the cool breeze, sweating. Priya, his girlfriend for the past 3 years, had called him that morning, from a public booth (or so he guessed) and in a troubled tone, had asked him to wait near the entrance of the park at 5 pm and had cut the phone abruptly.

Priya walked in exactly at 5pm. Shankar, relief surging through him, rushed out to greet her. But she motioned him to be silent, looked around, caught him arm and literally dragged him as quick as she could to their favorite bench. This bench was where they had met often during the 3 years and it held many special memories. But on that day, Priya broke down weeping! "My parents know!” she wailed,” I don’t think I can come out of the house again un-noticed". A painful silence prevailed. "They've fixed my engagement with Tilak tomorrow.. Even now, I had to sneak out of the house when everyone was busy with the preparations.. I can’t stay here too long.. I must leave now.. I really don’t know what to do..I feel like dying Shankar... ". Shankar put his arm around her and hung his head, searching for the right words. "Shall we get married now? I mean right now!". Priya looked up, looked right into his eyes and said, "I cant come against my parents' wishes.. You know that.. That’s why I waited all this time.. I just cant Shankar!" and starts sobbing again. With only her sobs breaking the silence, time froze for a few minutes. Shankar then said, with all the determination he could muster "Lets part now! I know it’s hard on both of us but it'll be harder if you stay longer.. Go and marry Tilak, Priya! We may have failed as lovers, but at least lets satisfy our parents and make them happy.. Go on.. Don’t look back!". Priya got up reluctantly, gave him one last look and hurried home. Shankar sighed heavily and closed his eyes.

A week later...

It was Valentine's Day and Trojan Cafe; the hot spot for the town's couples was brimming with people. Seated beside his new girlfriend Sheela, Shankar hardly looked the grief-stricken, heart-broken lover. Priya walked in with her fiancé Tilak. Her eyes met Shankar's and then was a brief sad smile in both their lips. Shankar's smile broadened as soon as her back turned. It became smug! "It worked perfectly", he thought.” I’d been planning this for a month and the time came only a week before when Priya's mom picked the phone. Though I knew it was her mom, I continued talking as if I thought it was Priya, coz I know she'd be caught and we'd have to split up. Priya became boring of-late and after I met Sheela, my feelings for her died. And to think, we talked about marriage some two weeks back! Phew!" and he puts his arm lovingly on a beaming Sheela.

The focus is now on Priya who is rather happily chatting with her fiancé. She seems to be a perfectly normal radiant bride-to-be. Inside she is thinking "Not bad.. It really worked! How could have I ever fallen in love with Shankar? Such a pathetic loser! It struck me only when he talked about marriage that I've gotten myself into a trap. And the only way to escape unscathed is to 'get caught' at home so that they'd get me married to Tilak soon giving Shankar no chance to stop my wedding... And the only way to get caught was to put my mobile where it can catch mom's eyes and stay off the place for some time... It really worked!".. She smiled sweetly at Tilak who was discussing the Visa procedure with her..

Bend it like Mom!

Before I start this post.. I just wanna shout out to the world "MOM ROCKS!!! ABSOLUTELY!!!"..

I got up at around 8a.m today, which is a little too early to be out of bed of a Sunday morning, especially when I was feeling slightly feverish and I had an irritating dry cough which didn't allow me to have a really peaceful weekend crash. Some might mistake this 'early rise' as a step towards preparation for my cycle tests from Monday but hey, you guys know me better!
I had the alarm set for 6 am initially. The reason is that Mom has gone to attend her cousin's wedding in Bangalore and our servant was sacked a week back. So she wanted me to do some chores, like sweeping the house, mopping it if possible and to wash the clothes(washing machine is there ofcourse). I decided that this wouldn't take more than an hour so I decided to start the day with some things she said I needn't bother myself with. Watering the garden!
Been too long since I had a communion with Nature. The garden was too tempting. The weather was perfect and I set out to water the plants. Our garden is not very big but there are plenty of pots and a small lawn, which took more time than I had expected, to be watered. I had almost finished watering them all, humming arbit tunes. The last few plants were outside the compound wall, and I impatiently tugged at the water hose, hoping to get over with it soon. That was my first mistake. The water flow stopped. I turned off the pipe and check all the connections and when I turned it on again, surprise! a forceful jet of water rushed as the hose broke off the pipe and I got totally drenched! I might have enjoyed getting wet had it been another place and at another time, but with so much of work ahead, I got really pissed. I spent some fifteen minutes clearing up the mess(yeah, there was water everywhere and I didn't want anyone, mainly me, slipping in the marble pavement)
I decided to start the original work plan. I collected clothes from all the rooms, seperated the ones that could be washed in the machine and hand-washed the remaining few. I had loaded the machine and I confidently turned it on. It actually worked pretty smoothly for some time. When I came back to check on it, after helping my cook was the vessels, I found the machine making weird noises and worse still, not working! Spent another quarter hour trying to fix it, at the end of which, thankfully.. it worked!
Sweeping the house came next. I hated sweeping even as a kid when we were supposed to sweep our classes in school. Pushing benches, emptying the dust bin, picking up papers, I'd do them all but sweeping was a big turn off. My house(for the benefit of those who haven't come home) has three halls in the ground floor with a kitchen and a bed room and one hall and four rooms in the upper floor. Since dad was having his breakfast downstairs, I started sweeping upstairs. I don't remember the last time I sweated that badly. I was soaked and I had to change before I came downstairs. My hands started to ache and I was feeling exhausted. I remember Dad saying something about the 'second wind' and today, was one of the rare days, I experienced it. By the time I had finished one hall, I was feeling ok enough to finish the rest! Mopping followed.
Mopping was fun usually, but today, my patience had worn as thin. Mom would generally empty the pail of water used and refill with clean water for every room and I was doing it only after finishing two rooms. I was swinging the mop so wildly that I knocked off the pail of dirty water! and that too, just when I had finished the entire hall. What ensued is pretty easy to guess. I had to mop the hall all over again. And to add on to my woes, I slipped in front of my room and almost sprained an ankle (thank God it didn't get sprained).
Cleaning the bathrooms was the last item in the morning chores. I was way too tired and the time was already 12:30 so I finished it as fast as I could (translated as, as shabby as I could) and had a long shower.
I really can't help but admire mom, as she has done all this without complaining for the past one week. She starts working at 5 am, finishes all the chores by 10 am and then leaves for the hospital! A couple of days of this schedule and I'm sure I'd have all my extra pounds dissolving. I learnt so many things, the dignity of any labor, the meaning behind some of our old customs, the difficulties of a professional woman, the value of mom and yeah, remembering to check the hose-pipe joint before you turn on the pipe!

I shall ramble on!

I've been surprisingly busy for the past one week. Was working on a paper and some working model for a contest. I found myself liking the 'work' which I had never wanted to do when I started my engineering course. I wanted to maintain a non-techie image, not that its changed, but I guess I like a little bit of techincal stuff. Atleast it keeps me happy that I'm doing something constructive(NTPK!)
I've been reading many blogs these days. Thanks to TIFAC. Lazy afternoons, with a slightly long lunch break and a boring hour after that, usually drive me nuts. So I allow myself to be dragged to the net lab by my classmate and since it would be too embarassing if someone caught me snoozing, I read blogs.
I usually get lost in whatever I read and these blogs were no exception. Sketches of people I've never seen or will ever see kept forming in my mind as I went through their blogs. The variety, the different outlooks, styles of expressing thoughts, humour, satire and tears, the differences made each blog worth reading. And reading all those blogs made me feel small yet content. Small coz I know I'm just an atom in the blogging universe and content to be a part of the infinity. My blog, which I feel is boring, kiddish and at times downright stupid, is still a part of me. So I decided not to give up blogging(sorry, I know its tragic but still...) It certainly doesnt matter who is reading this or who is not, I shall continue to ramble!

Babble tag

I do so many kiddu things everyday.... I still eat chocs messing up my fingers and dress, I play board games like candy land and snakes and ladders, I do sing-alongs, have birthday parties and watch cartoons.. But I miss so many things... of which the 5 top ones are

1) Play with my barbies in the cute little doll house I made.. Now both the barbies and the doll house are gone!

2)I want all my cuddly wuddly stuffed toys back in my room... all of them on my bed... Mom has given them all to my sister!

3)I want a big mickey mouse cake this birthday... I'd be twenty(*yuck*) and its definitely gonna look ridiculous.. So it'll be ruled out

4)I wanna keep eating lollypops and never stop! I do take some rarely, coz people make so much fun of me... Not that I really care... but no fun these days coz I cant stick my coloured tongue out at anyone!

Heart patients, pregnant women and people who would prefer not to die laughing or of a big shock... Dont attempt to read the next one

5) I wanna wear my sweet frilly frocks, have a two-pony hair style and ballerina shoes.....(Dont say you weren't warned!)

I guess this should do! I tag Keshav and Abinaya...

I want to...

I really want to find some motivation to work for my upcoming exams..Both semester and japanese.. Havent read a word in both..

Anyway...
Tagged by Harini.. here I go
I want......
To read: Right now I should be reading for my exams.... But then my fantasy has been to read every single Enid Blyton, Agatha Christe and Wodehouse! Cant be happy aspiring to read just one book!
To Listen: I bought a new album..Hits of 2005 from Chennai.. Hope to have the patience to listen to it fully
To watch: Full house..over and over again.. That was my fav show and I miss it so much these days... And some good new English movie.. For some strange reason, they stopped playing English movies(undubbed ones) here in Trichy..
To visit: Paris.. Dunno why but I've this craving to visit some romantic European capital.. And Paris is my dream city!
To buy: An IPod.. and a new mobile... Travelling 90 kms a day without any entertainment is so boring these days!

I guess I'll tag Abinaya
... Finish your exams and write out your wishlist..

Reveries

Most of my posts hold a touch of nostalgia. I mean what kinda man is he who doesn't look back at the path he has traveled.. It’s not very often that one gets a perfect moment to travel back time.. By perfect I mean, a slightly chilly rainy Saturday morning, with nothing big to bother you in the course of the day, lying comfortably in your warm bed, propped up by cuddly pillows, after a cup of warm milk.... Hey, hold on... As much as I do wish to have had such a peaceful moment to go mushy over the past, circumstances here were a total contrast! Mom had woken me up (literally dragged me out of bed.. I woke up just before she actually emptied the bedside jug on me!).. It was just NINE!!! Some two hours before my holiday wake-up time!
Having been roused rather unceremoniously, I got to drink some very cold milk (was too lazy to heat it up).. It was raining badly outside... Half an hour later, I found myself in the middle of huge piles of books (Its cleaning day!!! How exciting!!).. In those thirty minutes, I did somehow manage to make my sister cry, mom was furious and it was more like grounding both of us by making us clean the library.. I was sniffing(partly because I scolded badly and mostly because of the dust) and was unwillingly sorting out the books... A few books were sorted out uneventfully... Then came a very old book titled "Ivan and the wolf".. I slowly drift away into dreamland...
Ivan from the Ukrainian tales was one of my first crushes... Dad was always my favorite storyteller and my earliest stories were that of a not-so-handsome, not-so-clever prince, but a winner in the end..Ivan! The cover page had Ivan plucking the golden apples in his father's backyard... I picked up a bundle of rotting comics.. Some of them had been my favorite... Memories of school days, secretly sneaking a couple of books to spend time in class during lunch (those were the days when I was an outcast in class).. The old school library that used to remind yes, spooky and me of the medieval castles, dark, silent..Loved getting lost in a book there, with the irritating school bell heralding the end of the library hour... I was a fanatic in my 9th.. Spent most of my hours in the library in an old chair near the last bookshelf at the end of the corridor..
Thinking about school days opened a huge collection of memories inside my head... My friends (very few), my teachers, classes, tuitions, festivities and all those beautiful moments that can never be erased... I had something to hold on to, in every person or thing I've come across...
By this time Ani (my sis) must have got irritated seeing me daydream while she was actually working hard, and the result was a sharp sudden pain in my head (yeah yeah.. she chucked a book on me and that hit the targeted spot too).. A small fight followed… Grumbling badly(you can guess..Mom supported her coz even she was pissed at me day-dreaming!) I picked up the book… It was one of those sweet historical romances I flicked from the library (hey hey hey.. flicked in the sense I liked it so much so I paid for it).. Reverie session-2 began..
History was always one of my favorite subjects, mainly because, I’ve read more than my teachers and it was one subject were dreaming in class was a legal affair! From history, my thoughts moved on to some of the cute guys I’ve come across in life (no elaboration… this is too public!!) I was trying to fit them one by one in the hero’s role(me the heroine of course)… The guy who fit the most was someone who was not in the list!! So to escape the nightmare, I shook myself back to reality and resumed(??!!!) working…
I had found my old kavithai (poetry) notebook with a collection of some super cute (NTPK) poems of mine. And work came completely to a halt.. I was reliving all those wonderful times, which had inspired me to write… By this time, mom’s temper had crossed the maximum limit.. She was so exasperated that she chased me out of the room.. Reverie cut off abruptly… Will resume sometime later!

Shea...

I see the current trend is for abstract stories.. So decided to write one myself... Forgive me if you feel its relly pathetic!

Her bags were packed.. There was just an hour before she left home.. Everyone was fussing over her... Afterall, the only kid in the family was leaving home to join the university of her choice.. Appa was checking the carefully packed bags again.. Amma was giving out a list of do's and dont's breaking now and then to give her a hug when emotions threatened to drown her... Hari uncle and Nithya aunty had come with their family to give her a send off party... The large junk bags kept outside her room were probably the last thing in anyone's mind... In one of those large black polyethene bags lay Shea...

It was on her 3rd birthday when Shea entered her life... Hari uncle had bought her from the States.. She was a cute, snuggly, stuffed panda who had come in a big blue box and it was love at first sight... Shea had been a part of her since then... Infact the name Shea was given only a year later.. Till then it was only Bearie... Shea was her favorite cartoon character and soon Bearie became Shea... There was no night that had passed without her cuddling Shea and no meal without Shea beside her... The stubborn curry marks on Shea's bushy white tail proved the fact... On her first day of school, she had smuggled Shea to school to hold her hand when she felt scared... From then on, she had smuggled Shea to school as often as she could... It was because of Shea she had got her first friend in school... Lavanya... In her lunch recess when Shea had slipped out of her bag, a large-eyed girl with pony tail had picked Shea up and helped her stuff Shea back into her bag before Florence miss came to class... And they became best friends within a week... They had remained best friends till her middle school...

There was nothing that could have torn them apart.. Infact she had made her father drive all the way back to her grandma's house where she had by mistake left Shea.. Her first wish to the tooth fairy was a blue ribbon for Shea.. All was well till her thirteenth birthday party, when she had invited the 'coolest' girl in class home... Neethu had found her bond with Shea a little too childish... and very funny...Neethu had made a gesture of deep disgust at Shea's messed-up no-longer-white fur and had laughed out-right when she spotted the blue bow in Shea's ears...Embarassed, she had put Shea away in her cupboard that night... She drifted away from Lavanya to be a part of Neethu's gang... Shea was hidden in her cupboard whenever her friends came home... Gradually Shea was forgotten...

When the servant had cleaned her cupboard, she had discarded the 'old and torn' toy without a second thought...

If only Shea could think...maybe the thoughts would be "You threw me out of your life just because you had someone tell you that it was 'so uncool' to be seen hanging out with me... You find those stains that you made on me, which you once considered love-marks, now digusting... The fur that was messed up because of your constant cuddling, is now considered ugly by you... If this is what you call 'growing up', I'm thankful that I dont grow up..."

But then Shea cannot think... Can it???

I believe in angels!!!

I seriously do... Coz the past few months have taught me a lot, and finally the truth dawned on me... Ofcourse I am not talking about 'the angels', pearly white gowned, sweet creatures with wings, though I still romance with the idea of meeting one, its just about the circumstances I've faced that made me believe that there are more beautiful, sweeter and divine creatures surrounding me in reality...
I shall certainly not irritate you people by my usual elaborate narrations this time.. It all started like this(there I go again!).. I was so heartbroken by the general attitude of some of my 'so-called-friends' that I started to draw myself further away from reality.. Typically what they do in the game called "bubble"... Rather an interesting game which I came across in a novel in which people totally re-translate the happenings in their lifes, into something totally wild, almost into a virtual world... Back to my story, yeah, I got into this 'bubble' syndrome, which I hoped would keep the pain at bay and help me comfort myself... Worked like a charm for sometime.. Like whenever someone asked me how 'so-and-so'(assumed to be my close friend, even by myself earlier) is doing, I would let my imagination loose and spin a fancy answer to cover up the fact that this 'so-and-so' hasn’t bothered to check if I'm alive or dead for the past month or so..
The 'bubble' had to break, and this made me even worse.. Facing the world that had seemed so warm, but now so distant was pretty terrible... I resorted to cribbing... Even that didn't help... Then finally when I thought that life couldn't get worse, I started to feel the presence of the angels....
These were people who didn't walk into my life all of a sudden, but who had been there all along.. Not that I didn't notice them before, but I didn't bother to know them better... Whenever someone ditched me, there was someone to pick me up, whom I would have never imagined, even in my biggest 'bubble' to help me..
Not that these angels stay with me forever.. but they certainly make their presence felt and miraculously cure my wounds and pull me out of self pity... And every time I fall, I can be sure that there would be someone to catch me.. and even if no-one did.. I could still pick myself up, knowing for sure that my guardian angels(I certainly have more than one!) would give me enough strength to recuperate and get back on my feet...
I also learnt that...
Shit happens... only we fail to accept it
Self-pity is the best way to make sure others hate you...
When life is miserable, blame yourself for not being able to see the better things surrounding you..
Noone is more important to anyone than themselves!
Nothing remains unchanged forever... Be it people, feelings or even the deepest love! Everything will change and should change.. Or it is just not real!
But the best lesson which came as a message when I needed it the most was... Never make someone the priority in your life, when you are just an option in theirs!!
I cant say I'm much happier now, but atleast I've established some kind of harmony with reality! Thanks to those angels!

Words are all I have...

Life is crummy these days... Missing my first year pals... Missing all those easy subjects... The times I scored without reading at all... Those days when the world demanded very little from me but still gave me all what I wanted... I know it is going to get worse but still, cant help cribbing... The only consolation these days is the new boom box my grandpa got me for my birthday with surround sound (yeah yeah... it gets on my mom's nerves!) and a great clarity... This just meant that I could even play my old cassettes(spoilt because I kept playing them over and over) and still make out something! And this has inspired me to share a few really good lyrics I've come across in some of the songs I'm hearing... Since I've already dealt with my tamizh favs.. Here are some of my english favs.. Take some time off and browse through these great lyrics..

All the way- I generally love most of the Celine Dion's songs... This one in particular... Even Celine claims that its her all time favorite.. A duet with Frank Sinatra... Simple lyrics and very beautifully sung...


When you say nothing at all- Ronan keating has this really husky but expressive voice... But even if some novice had sung this song I guess the lyrics alone could have made this a hit single! If somebody asks me for the perfect lines to say for the definite success of a proposal, I'd ask them to memorize this :)

So Yesterday- The freshness in Hillary Duff's voice and the sprightly musics belies the depth of the lyrics... For any teen with a heart break... this is the song that can help you get over it!

My Happy Ending- Another awesome song for those broken-hearts and tortured souls... Can even be for all those ditched friends...Avril's best song in my opinion... Rocking lyrics... Its just to remind people that no one is gonna crib and wish to get back with the jerk who broke up..I love the part when she says "It's nice to know that you were there..Thanks for acting like you cared"...Too cool!

Against all odds- But what if you are really the die-hard romantic who expects your love to come back... Check this one out! Originally written by Phil Collins but popularized by Mariah Carrey(even I like the new version)... Really brings tears!

Forever and for always- Gorgeous Shania Twain in the beach... A simply touching video and lyrics that really reach out... I'd love to sing this to the special someone ;)


Hero- A truely inspiring song by Mariah Carrey... When you feel down, just play this song and step into the shower... Instant cure for depression!


Escape- Enrique! Whatta voice! Though Bailamos is my favorite song, Escape comes a close second with its really good lyrics...

Colour Blind- Darius made his debut with this awesome single! The lyrics are just too cute...Way too cute... As cute as the singer himself ;) and yeah... his voice just adds on to the cuteness... What more can I say but "cute"!


Well here comes the song that is my all time fav.... I have no words to describe this song! Its beyong fantastic... The lyrics, the singers and the way it makes you feel...Unparalled... I would vote for this as the most romantic song ever... Much better a score than Every night in Titanic but its really sad that this song didnt clink as the other did... and its Spend my lifetime loving you- Mark Anthony(J-Lo's current hubby) and Tina Arena(lovely voice but sadly not really popular) Have made this duet sizzling! Try listening to the song sometime....


I hope you guys would take some time off, check these lyrics out and truely relish them... I havent been very exhaustive coz I know most of you would not enjoy this... But do go through these lyrics... Will come up with more if people are interested!

Cleaning my room!

It was initially promised that I do this once in 3 months....then I begged for this to be a half-yearly affair....then once a year.....but the truth is, for the past 3 years, ever since I unpacked my stuff in the new house, I've never bothered to sort them out or clean my room!
This will be giving you a pretty decent idea of how bad my room would have been when I set to work...For those people who still haven't got a clue, let me provide some information about the room that can easily pass for "The Mysterious Dungeon of the Moonlight castle"...
My room was built in perfect accordance with mom's aesthetic vision...Lovely cream walls, yellow drapes, honey wood furniture...a dream of sunshine and peace...But the one thing mom overlooked was ME! I was born with this gift of ruining any room I stayed in and this one was no exception...Within 3 days, it became my den with books, clothes, chocolate wrappers and anything that you can imagine lying scattered on the floor, draws crammed with bits of paper and everything forever in a state of a terrible mess! The best thing is that no one dares to enter my room for two reasons..Reason1: They are aware that there are hidden traps everywhere..Mom could never forgive me for the bump in her head, which she got when she opened my cupboard for some reason and a globe rolled out of it and fell on her! Reason 2: My room is believed to be a black hole of some kind that it can suck anything and you may never find it again...Dad and my sis are really scared of getting lost in the black hole....So that establishes my full rights over the room...
But this time, since my room was needed to accommodate my cousins (if necessary), I was forced to clean it.... It was not a very easy task (didn’t think it would be one too)..It took me nearly 3 days to get my room presentable...And those 3 days proved to be actually enjoyable!
Cleaning my room was my worst nightmare, but when I got down to doing it, I discovered so many wonderful things that it never drained me the way I thought it would.... I found so many old papers...Papers that held in them memories so strong that I spent most of my first day trying to relive them at least in my mind...There were notes taken down in various classes, plenty of loose sheets with some good bingo or bull shit in them("bull shit" was a word game we played in school), phone numbers, addresses, pencil-paper chats, and some old forgotten poems of mine... I couldn't help but read them all over and over again and fondly recollect the past...Next came the photos...I better not talk about them coz all I did was wonder how a few years can make a person so ugly (if you cant figure out what I mean...forget it! I won’t explain)..Then there were so many little things like clips, dolls and cards that kept flooding my mind with too many memories and emotions, that Day1 was spent just getting the things out of the draws!!!
The remaining two days, I was wise enough not to muse too much over these things and despite the trouble I had deciding which of this precious stuff should be chucked, I did do quite a good job of discarding nearly 50 books, 5 kg of paper, and 7 large bags of miscellaneous stuff!
Cleaning my room was almost a journey of self discovery, realizing how much I've grown up, the various paths I've walked in, the hurdles I've crossed and most importantly, how much discardable junk I had stored in my room all this time, being too sentimental to part with them! (The actual reason is that I am lazy but come on..isn't everyone that way?)..All said and done, my room looks presentable now and mom seems happier...There is just one catch in the good deed I did...My cleaner room has now paved way for my sister to snitch things more easily...Got to do something to stop this...Any suggestions?

10 simple pleasures in my life...

I've been wanting to write this for quite some time..But I didnt have the drive, till Sri tagged me..
I am a person who believes that true joy is living every day to the fullest and true adventure is making simple things interesting...So writing down 10 simple pleasures life offers is almost impossible for me becoz I can think of atleast 1000 and so I am shortlisting the 10 which are the most frequently occuring ones..

1. Waking up late on a Saturday morning...with absolutely no work to do and the whole weekend ahead!
2. Walking home from the bus stand in the evening...alone...Watching the sun set, enjoying the cool breeze, and taking in the beautiful transformation of day into night...Its a lovely feeling..
3. Playing bingo or bull shit in a boring class in the back bench..blissfully unaware of what is being taught...knowing well that u wont get caught! well..doodling in my notebook..lost in a dream comes a close second
4. Turning on the music that suits my mood at the particular moment and stepping into the shower(this works like a charm to make me feel better after a tired day)
5. Talking to dad in the terrace..invariably in the night after dinner...till mom shouts at us to come down
6. Reading a cute sms from a friend...who,u know, had sent it not becoz it was a forward but becoz u know the person truely wanted to say that to you
7. Going shopping with mom...watching her relax and unwind...I love it when she asks me my opinion about what she buys for herself...love it more when she takes it seriously...And when it comes to buying stuff for me..Mom's the boss and she rocks!
8. Practising for an event..esp a play...something we did often in school and something I miss in college...We used to have such fun.. Adding our own touch to the dialogues and changing the story every 5 mins...with only 6 of us regular dramatists in that huge auditorium...6 people who were not friends,not even close, but just binded by a passion for the stage...the auditorium wud always echo our lines and our laughter....
9. Singing with Suchi, Ramya and Raji in the bus....it helps us pass the weary 45 kms in the evening... We'd play every possible game and once a lecturer who travelled with us said that we sang beautifully but she couldnt hear much becoz it was not loud enuf!! It is for the sole purpose of killing time we sing but we end up having too much fun always!
10. Fighting with Ani(my sis).. I really missed her for the past three weeks...Having a sister is a blessing...We fight over very silly things..one of us would start crying and the other would immediately start consoling...The best times are when we conspire something...I really thank God everyday for giving my such a darling sister...I know we hurt each other alot but still we really cant imagine our lives without each other...

So that's that...10 simple pleasures... But then again there are so many I just can't put into words... The thing about life is..You may not be able to enjoy something big you that you anticipate...but you will certainly have moments which are so simple and plain, but so unforgettable..that they will stay etched in your mind..like perfect paintings..and these pictures will never fade away..

And now for tagging...I tag Rajeev, Parthan, Sindhu and Harini...

The Island

"The emerald amidst the swirling waters
Of Kauvery and Kollidam
The sweet abode of the Lord
The Mystical Island"

Srirangam has forever been a fascinating place for me. There is some mystical element to this beautiful island still makes it intriguing and enchanting...Trichy and Srirangam are more than just places,they are a part of me, the only places where I feel I belong.. To describe the beauty and the glory of the magnificent temple, I can never find the right words...With great poets and artists failing to capture its splendor, I guess I will make an attempt, though weak yet heartfelt, to describe this wonderful place..
Every part of the temple or the place as such is associated with some wonderful legend...No one can point out the exact period in which this temple was built, though the popular belief is that the main idol was a gift from Lord Rama to Vibeeshana...The temple has been modified and rebuilt by so many dynasties that it has, I must say, evolved with man.. But through all these years, it has retained its soul, which still attracts thousands of tourists every year..
Srirangam leads the list of Vaishnava sthalas and it certainly deserves the honour.. The ‘Rajagopuram’ is 236 feet high with 13 tiers and is the tallest temple tower in Asia...The other gopuras though unknown are each unique and beautiful...There are innumerable sannathis but the main deity and the thayaar sanathi are the most popular...However some sanathis like the Chakarathaazhvaar, Dhanvanthri, Aandal and Kothandha Ramar are general favorites..The Dhavanthri and Kothanda Ramar sannadhi earn a special mention(not just because they are my favorites) but because the Dhanvanthri sanadhi is the most powerful and the Kothanda Ramar statue is one of the biggest and the most beautiful..There is a Desikar sanadhi and the mummified body of Ramanujar is still preserved in the temple! Some of the trivial things that have attracted me are the 'echo point' near the sanathi of the main deity (you are supposed to shout Ranga there and I love it) veral-kuzhis near the paramapadha vaasal (the goddess was believed to have peeped from there to see if her husband has returned) and ofcourse the stone tortoise near the sthala vriksham(which is where they hid the idols during the mughal invation)..There is a 'thulukka natchiyar' sanathi, which is dedicated to a Mughal princess who gave herself to the Lord..An interesting anecdote is that ummachi has chappathis for his breakfast everyday because of her!
In Srirangam there is no shortage of festivity because everyday something happens..The Ranga-Raja(king) is a lover of festivity and so any time you visit the temple there would always be some activity going on..There would be chariot festivals, vaahana valams, pallaquins and the usual stuff but the unique things about Srirangam is the "20 thirunaals" before and after Vaikunda Ekaadesi..There are Raa Pathu(festivities are mostly in the night) and Pagal Pathu(morning) and ofcourse the splendid Vaikunda Ekaadesi with the Lord in Rathanaagi(dress made of rubies!)..It would take a seperate post to describe the Thirunaals and I'll do that later..
The 600 acre island of Srirangam was formerly filled with coconut and mango groves (now they are being replaced by apartments..and I positively hate that!)..The veedhis(streets) which lie concentric to the temple(great town planning!) are filled with old-fashioned houses(even they are being replaced by apartments!) which really transfers us a couple of centuries back..
It is always a pleasing sight to watch people put kolam before the Lord comes for the veethi-ulaa(rounds), children playing in the late evening, people chatting in the thinnais(front of the house) and all the festivities drawing a huge crowd.. The sight of the Lord in a vahana coming for the veedhi-ulaa with the bright torches whose light stand in no comparison to the beauty of the Lord's face or the veena-ekaandham(its really heaven on earth) when they play veena to soothe the Lord before he sleeps are things you have to experience atleast once in a lifetime..
Srirangam is not a mere temple or a beautiful island...It is a cultural landmark and a perservator of tradition..It still binds people together, infuses in them the common love for God and their hometown and ofcourse fills them with great memories of their days there...I had wondered sometimes if how my life would have been if I had been born in a metropol...I know in that case it would have certainly been poorer,not having memories of this wonderful place, whose every aspect I love.. It is a traditional belief that Adi Sankara installed at Srirangam, a Yantra called Janakarshana Yantra to attract pilgrims to this sacred temple, but then even without that, the beauty and serenity of the Lord would have attracted millions...You will definitely see more posts about Srirangam and if you come down to Trichy, I'll be glad to take you around "The Island"!

Ice-breaking

Buzz.....This blogger has been hibernating too long...

Some people did miss my aimless ramblings. So here is a post dedicated to all those sweet souls who spent their time to cheer me up and woke up the dejected writer in me to sharpen the pencil(err..keyboard?)again... These 3 months have really whizzed past giving me no time to stop and reflect. Maybe its time for me to do that..
I have learnt alot of things about life particularly about people and relationships in the past few months. I thought I could share a bit of the wisdom I gathered, but if you find this naive and stupid, just remind yourself that I am still a kid growing up.
Its was around three months back(some time after my last post) when I had enough of thinking about school days, that I cried ENOUGH!...Enough of pretending to be indifferent to the cold war that existed in my class...Now if you are wondering what this cold war was all about, it was the same old hostility between the guys and girls...Silly but so many of us face this in our classes and workplaces even in this era of equality among the sexes...Boys try to dominate and girls try to act smart and this results in a barrier that separates their worlds and prevents any positive flow of thoughts and ideas...To be honest, my life in class at that time was rather boring and I was kinda starting to regretting my decision for having joined my college..
I wanted to make a change but didn't know where to start...God certainly helps you are really determined..The help came through my school mate(incidentally my college mate too) whose friend was a guy in my class...So I got this guy's number and we started a casual sms chat...I was surprised to find out that we had so many things in common(including our moon sign, star..he he he..)... and there we were, great friends in just a couple of messages...We ended up talking about things as if we had known each other for ages...
I heard from him about a couple of guys who had a grudge against me in class...I decided to talk this out to the concerned guys the next day..My idea was ridiculed by the others and my close friend infact warned me to stay from them...But then I moved forward(this created alot of friction between me and my close friend in class)..I was contemplating on the choice of words but my smile worked much better...Again the ice was broken and I had new friends..
My friend organized a meet in the canteen and an open invitation was thrown to the entire class. It was the first of its kind..we surprised the guys by inviting them and they surprised us by turning up..There were 10 of us..6 guys and 4 girls..(my class strength is around 42)..The meet turned out to be a huge success as we had maximum fun...This was followed by a game in class(thanks to our chemistry lecturer for having been absent)..These were major ice breakers..
Three months have passed and we've had so much fun that looking at the last one week of our life together as a class(we will have to move to our depts. next year), we cant help but wonder how fast time flies..Classes are no longer boring, college rocks..to be more precise I-section rocks! We've treats and meets to look forward to, games to play, fun activities to do and surprises to plan ..There were many lunches and high teas we've had and the strength kept increasing steadily.. Our class was the only class to form a team and rock our intra-coll culturals..Our class won the maximum number of prizes(almost everyone won!)..We conducted a mock award ceremony and we are planning for a really good farewell party..We trust each other and we know we can always look back at these three months to cheer us up...Our only regret was that despite us being together for nearly a year, we became close only in the last three months...
There were some great truths I realized...
Its never too late to make friends.
Never judge people before you actually get to know them.
Everyone is good...Its just your outlook that varies..
To love life...you need to love the people around you ..and to love the people around you need to love yourself..
Never hesitate to break the ice...
It would never hurt to say a sorry even though there is no mistake on your part, if it could help someone feel better..
Everyone has different ways of making a relationship work...So be yourself and respect the other person's methods(though they are pathetic at times)
And when I feel lost and lonely(I do somtimes) I can remind myself that there are people out there whom I've not met so far, waiting to get to know me and somewhere there is a soul whose life would be changed if I step into it...

Reunion and Reconcilation!

“There is one day when the Past shall meet your Future…”
I guess I was so busy trying to settle down in college that I really missed out on looking back at my school life. Didn’t regret much for it either till one day, when a post-card arrived, inviting me for the Annual Old Student Reunion.

One might have expected me to feel rather happy at getting a chance to bury a few ghosts, but trust me I was scared. I felt guilty for feeling scared…sad for feeling guilty and yeah, ended up in a big emotional turmoil. Mom, being an old student of the school herself, suggested that I go (along with a few sarcastic remarks on my plans of spending the day) and this surely didn’t help me feel better… I didn’t know what was troubling me so badly, but I needed an outlet. So when dad was dropping me in the bus-stand, I came out with a confession… I burst out telling “Dad, this whole reunion thingy makes me feel like going out to dine with an ex-husband!”

The natural reaction anyone might expect of my dad was a big guffaw at the pathetic statement I made. But thank God, he really understood what I was trying to say. Going back to school, especially for a reunion meant so many things to me… It meant reliving memories both good and bad, laughing at the old jokes, crying for the lost opportunities, meeting so many people who would bring back so many things that I had always wished to bury. This is painful, but then that pain made me realize that I was attached to me school more that I ever imagined myself to be, emotionally, spiritually though at present not physically.

I decided to go… It was a decision that came from deep within my heart and with my head approving it. And I went… The colour of the day was Purple, and as I donned that dress I couldn’t help thinking about the times I had worn it to school…It was considered one of my lucky dresses and I had worn it for a couple of plays…This brought back memories of those long practice sessions, the bunking of classes, being yelled at in the staff-room for having made too much of noise, bad grades and the unexpected good ones, friends, chatting, lunch in the corridors, canteen, breaks and every little heartache. I wanted to quit. This was getting emotional and I certainly didn’t want to cry. Nevertheless, it was too late, for I was in the car with mom, on the way to school.

The moment I saw the old arc bearing the name of my school in bold letters, I experienced the same anxiety… My hand automatically reached out for my school bag to pull out my notebook and check for incomplete homework. Gently chided myself for being so nervous. The memories started crowding and drowning my senses… Seeing my batch mates, my seniors and my teachers, I felt numb, the numbness that comes after too experiencing too many emotions… But then this cleared and surprisingly I felt happy… Happy to be back where I was always cherished, happy to meet my past, happy to see those old buccaneers (Arrrrr… We were old sea scums!) and most happy to reconcile with the past!

The reunion was a very enjoyable one (we kept commenting during the biz meet which we hadn’t dared to do in our school days, and shrieking during the games). I of course won a couple of games (three out of the four games held…hey, I’m being modest!) and was envied once more by all my friends (boy, am I good or what!)…When I read my winning caption for the year “When we look back at the times we cried we will laugh now, but when we look back at the times we laughed together, it will bring tears” I meant every word…I was too engrossed in conversation to notice what I had for lunch, but overall, it was a great day… My mobile contacts list was doubled, my spirits renewed, old memories relived and as I passed the statue of Our Lady, I knew that my heart had a special place for my Alma Mater and that I would always trace my roots back there! Vive JOSA!

The festivity....

"What are your plans for diwali?"...This question was repeated so many times in the past one week, by almost every one of us. Almost a rhetorical question for which we generally don’t expect an answer, or even if we do get one, we are least interested. Let me not put down this repeated question for in my own case, it has often aided to start a conversation, to divert attention from some undesirable topics or in some occasions, to stop a conversation.
Festivals are generally associated with certain standard things. And in the case of Diwali, it inevitably points to crackers, sweets, new clothes and of course the "ganga snanam", the early morning oil bath that leaves all those morn-haters ruffled badly. But then, subconsciously each of us conjure different pictures of any festival, images that are hardly associated with these material aspects.
Elaborating a bit on this, I think talking about Diwali would be apt. Diwali, in my opinion extends much beyond the usual festivities. It is the one day of the year when my entire family comes together. I had always taken this for granted but then looking around I came to see that this was really a rare happening. We've all become so mechanical, each engrossed in his/her individualism that we forget to come together. Now, when I say my family, it isn’t just the four of us (dad, mom, my sis and me). It includes my paternal grandparents, maternal grandparents, my uncle, his wife, her parents and any of my relatives from abroad who happens to visit India during this time. And in this gathering I see more than just the coming together of people. It is more like the breaking down of mental barriers, over-coming of obstacles and unification of spirits. I don’t claim my family to be a perfect one. We all have different shortcomings. We've argued, fought, wound each other's heart and sometimes driven each other mad. But this festival provides an occasion for us to forget it all and those strings of family spirit and compassion keep us bound. The day usually begins with the ladies of our house-hold (not me!!) trying to wake the men and the kids (I come here) up. A really difficult task coz we'd have crashed only at around 2am after long chats. Once we are all up and awake (???), there is generally a round of coffee and then begins the 'nalangu'. It gets everybody into the festive spirits instantly. Nalangu basically includes the application of the nalangu, the oil in the hair and feeding the person with a banana! Most of us hate the oil and the banana part and so the proceedings get funnier every second. Then it is of course followed by the oil bath, new clothes etc. Then comes the bursting of crackers. My uncle (who came from London, where he is currently doing his intern, just for diwali) and Dad are usually the bravest and they test-fire most of those awfully loud stuff. After another round of chatting, it would be time for the family lunch. Another very interesting affair, in which the first 'pandhi' is served by the ladies and the second by the men. A really gregarious and hearty affair, aided by a sumptuous menu, after which most of us would be very drowsy. Then generally we pack up and come to our place, crash and then get ready for the evening dinner at our place where once again the entire family comes together.
Hence for me, diwali flashes an image of all the women-folk busy in the kitchen, the men chatting in the hall, us kids playing (now replaced by watching TV,really!) and the general sense of well-being. I see most festivals in the same eye, like Sri jayanthi involves the family bhajan with every one of us singing away to glory, Pongal, with its 'plate and spoon' orchestra etc. What matters again is that special touch given to each routine by a very special gift called family. And I thank God every single day for that driving force behind each day....My family!